No man is an island, everyone needs somebody to relate and bond with, be it platonic or romantic. In a relationship, everyone wants to feel loved, accepted, loved, desired, valued, and esteemed all the time. However, when the relationship becomes toxic, you lose your peace and ability to enjoy life. A toxic relationship can leave you exhausted, frustrated, depressed, and it can also affect your business, sports teams’ performance, and families. If you want to know more about fixing toxic relationships, keep on reading.
There will always be people you do not feel comfortable with, but they are not toxic. You can be opposites in ideology with someone, but you can maintain a good working relationship. People of different political persuasions can enjoy each other’s company, fans of rival sports teams can have a friendly relationship, and Christians can interact healthily with non-Christians.
What is a Toxic Relationship?
The word toxic means poisonous, and it can be used interchangeably with harmful. Toxic relationships are those relationships that affect your peace and your ability to enjoy life. Truly, not all relationships started as toxic outrightly. But somewhere or something happened that made the relationship unbearable for both parties concerned. At the same time, it is normal for some disharmony in a relationship. However, a toxic relationship is marked by unhappiness, resentfulness, bitterness, abuse, and a host of other negativities influences.
What are the Signs of a Toxic Relationship?
There are several factors that determine whether a relationship or a person is toxic or not:
A toxic relationship lacks love:
Most toxic relationships result from the absence of love from the people involved. Love in this context refers not to the words or emotions that people call love but to the consistent actions or behavior of a party in a relationship. If you’re in a relationship with someone and their actions betray their words, it’s a pointer. For instance, someone who loves you would not spread lies about you behind your back.
Lack of communication:
Communication is vital in every relationship. When crucial matters that pose threats to a relationship don’t get thrashed out, they accumulate and eventually open the way for resentment and dislikes over time.
Lack of Trust:
Trust is a fundamental foundation in any relationship. If there is distrust, either one-sided or by both parties, it poisons a relationship.
There is an ongoing drama in toxic relationships:
Ironically, toxic people are usually the ones who proclaim for everyone to hear how much they “hate drama.” However, they provoke it wherever they go. They are a constant tangle of excuses, lies, inventions, and absurd situations with which they tire anyone around them.
Other signs are when;
- You constantly feel drained by that particular relationship.
- You feel like you’re struggling to impress the other person, or to make them accept you, or to make them respect you.
- You find yourself constantly tensed or worried and extremely cautious
- That person always downgrades you
- The person has some unhealthy habits like pride, selfishness, easily angered, bitterness, irresponsibility, etc., that you’ve been tolerating,
- Your input, efforts, and sacrifices are taken for granted,
- You are being either verbally, emotionally, or physically abused.
So if you keep experiencing toxic relationships, you should sit yourself down and do a lot of examination to see if you’ve been the cause or how you’ve contributed to making your relationships go sour.
Fixing Toxic Relationship.
There is no broken relationship beyond repairs, including a toxic relationship. However, both people need to be willing to change and accept responsibility to move forward. Here’s exactly how to fix a toxic relationship:
Identify the problems;
This is very key. Both parties need to air their opinions and rule out what went wrong to their starting point. To get your relationship back on track, you need to communicate honestly with your partner to discuss what went wrong. It is important to note that when identifying problems, you should not be rigid but accept that everyone can make mistakes with sincerity of heart.
Stop shifting blames;
One reason why marriages break these days is that people shift responsibility and yet want to be held in high regard. To fix any hitches with your partner, children, or colleague, you need to accept responsibility for your actions. Be mature enough to set your pride aside and apologize if you were at fault or even if you were the one who was wronged, it will do your relationship a lot of good.
Reflect on yourself;
You and the other person need to be mature enough to look deep into yourself and see what positive changes need to be carried out to foster change. Without the desire or motivation to change, the relationship will not improve. Truly, there are no perfect people. There are only people who have given themselves to gradual and progressive growth. So, if there’re habits that do not go well with the other persons, reflect on them and develop plans to become a better version of yourself.
Be ready to understand your partner;
For any relationship to thrive, understanding must be present. Understanding simply means seeing things from the other person’s perspective before you conclude. Even when their reasons for certain things are not sensible, do not constructively criticize or condemn. It is important to note that a relationship is a no judgemental zone
Don’t dwell on the past;
You can’t change the past so move on, concentrate on what’s ahead and celebrate the little consistent progress you achieve.
It takes a sound, ready and open mind to listen, learn, tolerate, adapt and grow. Don’t let the past deter your mind frame.
Be willing to forgive;
People will definitely hurt you, but you shouldn’t allow it to destroy a relationship that you worked hard to build. Therefore, as a rule, time and again, always be willing to forgive just as Christ forgave you.
Consistently, prove that your words can be taken to the bank. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Keep and follow through on commitments you make.
Practice healthy communication;
Always speak up responsibly, without yelling or anger, bitterness, or abusive words. Learn to listen to each other and reason together. It’s the best way to communicate.
In conclusion, toxic relationships create emotional stress, which in turn affects all parts of your life – including your physical body. Suppose you are in a toxic relationship; you can either put up with the toxic environment; or leave the relationship, or you can take the bold step and fix the relationship. The choice is yours!!!!