For some people forgiving others comes naturally, but they find it hard to forgive themselves for their wrongdoings – whether it’s their fault. Knowing how to forgive yourself is one of the ways of forging ahead in life, regardless of how difficult it may seem. Certain traits are required for you to be able to forgive yourself genuinely. The required traits include compassion, self-love, empathy, kindness, and understanding. In this article, you will learn about certain tips on forgiving yourself for any offenses you have committed or laid against you.
Forgiveness the way forward
Forgiveness is one of the ways to break free from condemnation, hurt and other diseases. We all are humans and tend to make mistakes at one point or the other. So, whether the mistake is a major one or something minor that may not affect your health, forgiving yourself is the best way to make peace with your inner being.
Forgiveness is really not about the physical damages that have occurred; instead, it is about opening up yourself or your emotions and sorting out the problem from within. To find true happiness within you, there is a constant need to forgive yourself for any problem, which is the way forward.
Steps on How to forgive yourself
To heal from the various hurt in your heart, you need to forgive yourself. Here are some steps on how to forgive yourself;
Focus on your emotions:
Focusing on your feelings is an important first step in learning to forgive yourself. You must acknowledge and process your feelings before you can go ahead. The sentiments that have been evoked in you should be welcomed and acknowledged. Most people tend to forget that their emotions are an important aspect of their lives. So, focusing on your emotion is the best way to start the process of forgiving yourself.
Acknowledge your mistake:
Sometimes it is easy to sweep some offenses into the carpet of your heart. However, over time, these abandoned offenses will affect our emotions. One way to forgive yourself is to recognize and acknowledge your mistakes. If you’re having trouble letting go of a mistake, say out loud what you learned from it. The burdens you carry can be lightened when you express the ideas and feelings that occupy your mind and heart. In addition, you retain the lessons you’ve gleaned from your deeds and their outcomes.
Learn from the experience:
It is really called a mistake when you do not learn from the occurrence or happenings. It is important to note that when things do not go as planned, you need to see it as an opportunity to learn instead of lamenting over the situation. Mistakes may be viewed as opportunities to learn and grow, and they can also serve as a springboard for future success. It is easier to forgive and move on when we keep in mind that we did the best we could with the resources and information we had at the time.
Converse within yourself:
Another way to forgive yourself is to hold an honest conversation within yourself. This will help you critically analyze the situation carefully and make a pact with the specific location where it hurt the most in your heart. Another way to hold a conversation within yourself is to write out how you feel; this is known as journaling.
This can help you get insight into your inner critic and cultivate self-love. If you’re having trouble forgiving yourself, this might help you discover mental patterns that are preventing you from doing so. Make a list of the things you appreciate about yourself, such as your talents and abilities, during your writing time. When you’re low in self-esteem because of a blunder, this might give you some much-needed confidence.
Avoid Being Critical:
This is not to say that you should not evaluate yourself on a constant basis. But you need to catch yourself when you do not see yourself achieving anything good because of your mistakes. So, you should notice when you are being self-critical. The truth is that we are the worst critique of ourselves. That’s why it is it is recommended that you write down the unpleasant voices you hear in your head.
Be clear about what you want:
What should you do if you committed a mistake that caused harm to someone else? Do you want to confront and apologize to this person? Is it necessary to make apologies to them? Even if you’re undecided, you might want to think about making apologies. Saying you’re sorry to someone you’ve wounded isn’t enough. Instead of blaming yourself for the error, focus on correcting it. According to the findings of one research, making apologies to the person we harmed makes it easier to forgive ourselves.
Avoid Replaying Mistakes in your head:
We all have a tendency to dwell on our errors. While it’s vital to go through the events that occurred, going over them over and over again can prevent you from moving forward with forgiveness. So, stop playing the “I’m a bad person” tape. Whenever you catch yourself doing, concentrate on taking one good step. Try taking three deep breaths or going for a walk instead of revisiting the recording. Taking a break from your negative thoughts might help alleviate tension and anxiety.
Be Kind and Compassionate:
You need to start treating yourself with kindness and compassion if your initial reaction to a bad event is to blame yourself. The only way to begin the process of forgiveness is to be nice and sympathetic toward oneself. It requires time, patience, and a constant reminder to yourself that you are deserving of forgiveness to do this.
Recognize the difference between guilt and shame
Feeling bad when you do something that is not right is very natural, which can help you really change. Shame, on the other hand, often involves feelings of worthlessness. Understand that making mistakes you feel guilty about doesn’t make you a bad person or undermine your intrinsic worth. Experiencing remorse is natural and allows you to accept responsibility and move forward. On the other hand, shame and self-condemnation will keep you trapped in the past.
In conclusion, every person makes mistakes and has things they feel sorry for. Falling into the trap of rumination, self-hatred, or even compassion can be harmful and make it difficult to maintain your self-esteem and motivation. When you face a problem with your own actions or feelings, focus on finding something positive in the situation. Yes, you may have made a mistake, but it was a learning experience that can help you make better decisions in the future.