Most Christian wives have difficulties understanding their husbands. They tend to ask several questions like; what made me marry him? Why is he not talking to me? Why do I feel ignored? Why does he not listen to me? What is happening in my marriage? Why am I not happy? These countless questions tend to build to anger, pain and you become lost in this lie. Let’s go back to the root. Do you understand the covenant of marriage? In this article, you will learn how to understand your spouse and make your home safe heaven.
Marriage is to love and serve your spouse against the full world till you die. It means you took a vow to serve this person in days of happiness, sadness, sickness, poverty, or wealth. You even agreed to change your name for this person, so you know that there is no going back. You have the power to build the negativity or positivity of your marriage. As Mahatma Gandhi famously said, “An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind. “There are several ways to understand your husband better and still feel happy and fulfilled.
How is your man’s emotional intelligence? Does he express his feelings? Does he say how he is feeling? How is your own emotional intelligence? Are you open with your feelings and emotions? Are you both emotional tanks full or empty?
There are many things a little understanding and patience can resolve. If your man’s emotional intelligence is low, help him express himself more and feel comfortable talking to you. Do not laugh, be happy to listen. Do not make him feel like he is not a MAN if he breaks down and cries; encourage him to be more open to you and help him through the phase.
Find time to talk with your man, not about where to fix the house, bills, or the kids. Talk about yourself, how are you both fairing, what was your greatest fear this week, where do you need growth, how is the stress of life. Don’t always assume your spouse should know. Make it important, express yourself, and be truthful. Let your spouse know your weaknesses, and you both talk about them and grow. Showing your weaknesses to your spouse without the feeling of condemnation helps you mentally and makes you feel free to grow and overcome them.
You have to be honest and know that the way you married your husband and now, he is different. He has grown out of some things and learned some things. Be flexible. Be ready to learn and understand him. Be flexible and be willing to learn new things. Keep an open mind and love him even more. You should help in shaping him and achieving his dreams in life.
For a man, sex is more of what they need to survive. It is mostly not emotional but relational for them. You need to understand that your husband does not think, feel, or act like you. Be ready to give your spouse sex even if you are not ready yourself. Learn what your partner prefers in bed, spice up your sex life, and make it lively. Know his fantasies in sex and try recreating it for him. Enjoy yourself in the process; let it all out.
Always dress like you are a queen. Don’t ever let yourself go. If you are at home, dress in clothes that make you look beautiful and sexy, not just tying wrappers or wearing oversized nightgowns. Dress to represent. Men are moved by what they see, and you still need to look far more beautiful than when he was dating you. Try to make your hair smooth skin(exfoliate), smell nice, and look welcoming. When going to work or church, dress smart and classy for the queen in you should be in the game always. Try and learn makeup, even if it’s not the full one, be able to draw fine eyebrows, and use a foundation that matches your skin tone.
Try to know little about topics that interest your spouses, like sports or politics. Even if you are not interested, when a match is going on, and you know your husband’s favorite club, buy a jersey and wear it, sit beside him on the couch and shout with him. You do not necessarily need to know what is going on. Let him see your support.
If it’s politics, always try to listen when he talks and pick out important details or if you hear any political matter, discuss it with him when you get home, not necessarily because you want to know but just to show him support. If your husband likes food, please learn how to cook to his preference.
Most men do not know how to separate work from home or release stress. Try and be a little observant. There are times when he wants to be alone to think or when he just wants to hang out with his friend and let him have his way. Most times, they just need this time to themselves as we too need it ourselves. Everybody needs some relaxing time or escape from the normal daily routine.
Men and women are different in their morphology, structures, and even how they think. We see things differently in the same situation. For example: when you pack a plate that your husband used to eat, the man sees it as respect, and the woman sees it as she loves her man. To make it easier, see it as the way you need love. The man needs respect. Respect him. Even when you do not understand his action or he takes actions that will condemn him, lose his job or do not bring anything that benefits you, still respect him. He needs to feel like a king in his home, so let him.
No matter the condition, do not ever lie to your spouse. If it happened in the past and you know that your partner will not take it well, just tell him the highlights, but if it happened now, in the present, please talk to him in ways that you know your partner will understand. Do not let your partner feel like you do not trust them. Tell them the truth, and you both might come back stronger.
Make your husband your best friend
The foundation of any relationship is friendship. Make sure you keep that flame alive; you and your spouse will be together for a long time, so friendship is the fastest and best way to go. Keep building that. Talk to him more, gist with him, play with him, make him a big part of your life, not just the father of your child or husband. Being best friends and enjoying each other’s company makes the whole process easier. Over everything, have fun. Do not let the idea of marriage lock you in. Enjoy yourself. It’s a lifetime journey, so be happy while at it. If you feel stressed, talk to your partner about it, and you two find a solution.
A happy home is both parties’ effort, which makes it strong even if the circumstances seem bad. A happy and balanced home is possible, and it begins with you.