Love takes on a different meaning not only depending on who you approach it from but who you ask. Nevertheless, falling in love is experiencing something greater than oneself due to the emotional connection between you and the person. But most times, people fail to reciprocate the love they have received appropriately. This is because they are not aware that there are different love languages, and learning more about giving and receiving love could help them improve their relationships and find a lasting partner.

If you want to know more about the five love languages, then read on.

What are Love Languages

The secret of having a great relationship with your spouse and other people is understanding their love language. People give and receive love differently, and not understanding peoples love language may lead to frustration. This is because you will be putting much effort into the relationship, but the other partner may never appreciate your effort. Love language is the natural way people perceive, receives, and accept love.

There are basically five love languages, according to Gary Chapman. According to the research carried out by Chapman, everyone receives love in at least one of the following five ways: words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, quality time, and physical contact. It is important to note that the five categories greatly affect how people give and receive love. For example, when you understand your partners love language, you can communicate your respect and affection more effectively. Here is an explanation of the five love languages;

Words of affirmation:

Some people love to hear good words that will inspire, encourage, and create positivity around them. However, using negative words or not affirming your commitment to them may cause them to doubt you, no matter how genuine your love is. While everyone loves to be complimented, if your love language is made up of words of affirmation, then unsolicited comments are extremely important for a relationship.

So if you fall into this category, it means that you not only need to hear that you are loved but why and how much. However, it also means that insults are even more devastating to you than those who don’t feed on words of affirmation. Simple affirmations like, You’ve done a good job, or I’m proud of you, can go a long way toward strengthening the confidence of someone who needs words of affirmation.

Acts of service:

When acts of service are a person’s primary language, he or she interprets help as a sign of someone’s love. For example, when one spouse does household chores, their effort may be interpreted as love for the other spouse, even if no words of love are said. However, if the acts of service do not constitute the helping spouse’s love language, the helping spouse may not be aware of what his or her actions mean to his or her wife or husband.

For example, a husband can wash dishes because they were dirty. But for the wife, who is the one who usually washes the dishes, her act of service sounds like a love song. People with this love language often find themselves behind the scenes, doing what no one else offers. It’s what they give to the people they love. They think that those who receive their service will understand its reasons, but they get frustrated when they feel ignored.

Gifts:

We all know people who carry gifts everywhere. They are always “picking something up” for the people in their life. These people love to make gifts, and when they receive a gift, they fill their love tank. Sometimes, people misunderstand this need to express their love through gifts and interpret these constant offerings as bribes or expecting something in return.

When gifts are the main language of a person’s love, the quality and effort into obtaining them are usually highly valued. Gifts don’t have to be expensive, although sometimes they matter more than the person making them expected. For example, if this is a woman’s main love language, she may interpret her boyfriend’s bracelet gift better as a deeper love connection. Also, a simple rose or a pretty card can go a long way in filling the love tank of someone who understands love as a gift.

Quality time:

Normally, quality time is tied to meaningful conversation for people with this primary love language. The hours spent having a deep conversation create an emotional connection for them. “If this person cares about me enough to spend all this time with me, then he really loves me,” the saying goes. The best way to communicate love to a person whose primary language is quality time is to eliminate distractions, such as cell phones and television, and be truly attentive to what they say.

You will need to train yourself to respond verbally that you are listening. A distracted audience communicates more to this person than you can realize if this is not your primary language. The continuous interruptions tell this person, “You’re not important enough for them to just think about you.” Joint experiences, laughing together and talking about important things fill the reservoir of love for someone who needs quality time.

Physical contact:

Physical contact is essential to the health and well-being of every human being. For example, babies who do not receive enough caresses in childhood fail to develop and may have lifelong difficulties. However, for some people, the need for physical contact is greater than for others. Affectionate hugs, caresses on the back, hands or a simple squeeze on the shoulders communicate love to these people.

These actions spell love to those who have this primary language. Although sex may be part of this love language, this need for physical contact is not sexual. The touches, the caresses, the hugs and the simple kisses on the cheek fill the reservoir of love of those who have this need.

However, when this person tries to express their affection physically to someone who does not have this language as their main one, the situation lends itself to poor communication. Sexual harassment lawsuits have been filed against innocent people who thought their non-sexual contact communicated respect and affection when it was interpreted as a sexual advance. People with this primary love language should remember that caresses can mean many things and that their intention is not always communicated clearly.

In conclusion, there are many ways to communicate love, and as followers of Christ, you should employ them all. But in relationships, it is helpful to understand how you are connected and how the people you love receive your love. Learning about the complexities of human nature helps you respond to who God puts in your lives, and the 5 Languages of Love is a good place to start.