As an emotional reaction to the perceived or real threat to a valued attachment, jealousy is a normal human emotion. The jealous partner is afraid that their partner is paying more attention to someone else. An insecure partner’s feelings of jealousy might escalate into hostility, scorn, anxiety, and melancholy. A little bit of jealousy may be soothing, and it can even become ingrained in us when we’re in a relationship. In contrast, extreme jealousy may be terrifying and overwhelming, especially if it leads the jealous person to engage in potentially dangerous behaviors like stalking, online dating violence, or physical assault.
“Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame.” (Song of Solomon 8:6 )
There is little hope that envy will improve until it is addressed. No amount of wishful thinking can help you overcome your envy. These feelings have deep roots and penetrate the very core of a person, making them difficult to overcome without conscious effort. Some jealousy is acceptable, but when it becomes excessive or irrational, it may do serious damage to a marriage. Your capacity to distinguish between healthy and destructive envy will determine the longevity of your marriage.
Unhealthy jealousy stems from an underlying fear of abandonment and concern over not being adequately appreciated. The following are symptoms of unhealthy envy:
- Worrying excessively about a partner’s emotions
- An incessant request for one’s partner’s location
- Displaying extreme worry and concern over one’s partner’s whereabouts
- Spreading false accusations and fabricated stories about one’s partner
- Imagining your partner’s thoughts and motives excessively
- Following or stalking a significant other with the intent of discovering their whereabouts.
- Controlling a spouse to the point that they can’t see their own family or friends
- Spying on someone’s electronic communications in search of infidelity or deception
- Frequent texting between lovers while apart
What Motivates Your Jealousy?
Anxiety, anger, sadness, doubt, misery, self-pity, and humiliation are all possible responses for someone who struggles with envy. Individuals may also struggle with emotions of failure, helplessness, or widespread distrust.
Jealousy may arise from a variety of sources, including but not limited to:
- Discomfort or a poor opinion of oneself due to worry of being abandoned or abandoned
- Possessing an intense need to exert dominance or control
- Imputing a false degree of ownership to a collaborator
- Expecting too much from every social encounter
- Maintaining unreasonable expectations of one’s spouse
- Remembering how terrible it felt to be abandoned when you were younger
- Concern about losing a valuable person or item
What Harm Can Jealousy Do to a Complicated Romantic Compatibility
When jealousy between partners is mild and otherwise healthy, it might be mistaken for love. But unhealthy envy is nothing but toxic. When a person is unusually jealous, they become more anxious, angry, and dominant. Some people with extreme envy bring about the outcome they fear.
Envy may cause resentment and defensiveness over time.
If the jealous person constantly asks and demands things of the other person, it may erode confidence in the relationship and lead to more arguments. Sometimes physical symptoms might develop as a response to traumatic emotional experiences. The physical manifestations of jealousy may be debilitating since they manifest in trembling, dizziness, melancholy, and an inability to sleep. Specifically, their violent behavior and inability to develop healthy coping mechanisms for jealousy raise the risk that their ongoing anger and desire for validation could eventually strain or perhaps destroy the relationship.
What to Do When Your Partner Feels Jealous? Before jealousy spirals out of control, it is essential to address it. Potentially, you and your partner can learn constructive strategies to handle jealousy.
Accept that some jealousy is natural.
There will always be people in your life and outside influences that threaten the security of your partnership. When a colleague is flirtatious or their job requires frequent travel, it’s natural to feel a twinge of envy. You and your partner must talk through your concerns and agree on certain boundaries to keep your relationship and your heart safe.
For the sake of your relationship, you and your partner may agree, for instance, that lessening your interaction with your flirtatious colleague is necessary. Maybe you and your spouse decide that a nighttime conversation while one of your drives would help ease your mind. Having a calm discussion about the issues and working out a solution together is crucial.
Find the Source of the jealousy
When one partner often feels envious, it’s important to figure out why. Is your insecure spouse jealous, for instance, because you don’t spend much time together? Or has infidelity sown distrust in the partnership? Ask some questions. investigate the causes of jealousy and potential solutions
Create an atmosphere of mutual trust.
One of the best ways to avoid envy is to foster an atmosphere of trust. For both pairs to go forward, honesty must come first. This person is reliable, dedicated, and loyal. Those that can be trusted will not embellish the details of their everyday lives. They also don’t cheat on their spouses. By keeping an eye out for these red flags, you may help each other regain trust in the relationship and diminish jealousy.
Develop a solid bond
Expressing affection, sharing experiences, and developing closeness with another person are all essential components of a healthy relationship. You should think about potential threats to your relationship. Jealousy is reasonable when it serves as a warning sign that the relationship is in jeopardy.
Keep an eye out for signs of jealous abuse.
When there is a real threat to the relationship, jealousy is a normal response. However, excessive jealousy on the part of one spouse is cause for concern, especially if it is accompanied by other red flags such as extreme anger, inflated demands, and unfounded accusations. Furthermore, this jealousy keeps happening over and over again. It’s a habitual way of acting.
Abusive or pathological jealousy manifests itself in several ways, including the use of inflammatory language and an effort to exert power over another person. If you find yourself constantly defending yourself against your partner’s unwarranted or accusatory questions, this might be a red flag. If you want to keep things from spiraling out of control, it’s important to obtain help right away.
Managing Your Jealousy
If you’re the one experiencing feelings of jealousy in your relationships, you may want to investigate the source. For instance, do you have issues with self-esteem or fear that your partner could one day decide to leave you? Perhaps your lover has cheated on you before, and you’re afraid it will happen again. Still, you’ll need to figure out how to handle your feelings. Find a therapist or counselor who can help you learn healthy methods for dealing with jealousy, and you’ll be well on your way.
Like many difficult emotional circumstances, jealousy may be a driving force toward growth if managed correctly. It’s possible that addressing your jealousy will be the first step toward greater self-awareness and understanding for both you and your spouse. Some common strategies for overcoming envy are as follows:
- Be aware of the damage that jealousy is doing to your relationship.
- Avoid saying something jealous
- Abstaining from partner surveillance
- Investigating the source of your jealousy
- Make the decisions to modify your actions
- Realize that you can’t change other people, but you can change how you react to them.
- Work with a third-party expert together, if necessary.
- Create a set of norms that you and the other spouse can live with
When envy gets out of hand, it may destroy relationships. If your jealousy is threatening your relationship, it’s important to get professional counseling to identify and address the underlying issues. As a result, you may get useful tools for dealing with anger and resentment from them.
We hope you have learned one or two things from this piece, please feel free to drop one or two comments in the comment section. Thanks.