‘Men are from Mars; women are from Venus. This popular saying thoroughly embodies the general perception of how different men are from women. And even though the Bible tells us that God brought Eve out of Adam, it can sometimes seem like they’re just two distantly related species. There must be a proper understanding between every family member to make families and relationships work. How can we bridge this gap between men and women? How can you understand your wife so that you can love her the way God wants and have a happy home?
Ways to Understand your wife
Here are ten ways to better understand your wife:
Listen to her:
Most women love to talk due to their emotional nature. When you listen intently, you can usually get information about the emotional state of your wife at that time from what she says and how she says it. Women also want to know that you’re listening to them and taking them seriously. It would help if you listened without interrupting; you can also get more clarity on what she says by asking some questions like ‘ok, so what you’re saying is that this was what happened?’ to confirm. This shows her that you’re listening.
When listening to your wife speak, you should also note her tone of voice because this gives more information about her emotional state. If, for example, she is saying something that seems casual, but you notice tension in her voice, you can tell that maybe that was actually something that irritated her. It shows that you should pay more attention to her and listen to what she’s saying at that moment.
Relate with her family:
The fact is that even though you two are married, you are both bringing different experiences and the results of your various upbringing to the marriage. To understand your wife better, it might be a good experience for you to relate with her family and the people she grew up with – her friends or siblings. This can give you an inside track to emotions and what she means when she says certain things and why she reacts to certain things the way she does and will help you to understand your wife better.
Talk to your wife:
As the head of the home, it can sometimes feel like all the responsibilities are on you. Involving your wife in your decisions concerning the family and your personal life allows you to get her unique perspective on things and understand how she thinks. The two of you should talk together over your goals as a family and as individuals and how you can achieve more. This will also help you understand how your wife thinks and her goals and desires.
Build her up:
Even the most confident women have some of their esteem tied to their significant other and how he relates with them. The more they care about you, the more your opinion matters to them. Therefore, as a husband, you are unique to help your wife build up her confidence. It would help if you did not use words that would tear her down. Rather you should compliment her and build her up. Appreciate her for the things she does and expresses your love for her vocally. Don’t take her for granted. This will make her more receptive and help you to understand her better
Pray with and for your wife:
Praying with your wife can allow you to understand some of her fears and worries. It can also build a closer bond between you and your wife. You should also pray for her and the help of the Holy Spirit to love and treat her right. The Holy Spirit can also give you insights to understand your wife better.
Learn her love language:
when it comes to love, it’s different strokes for different folks. Every individual’s values are different, and these differences reflect how we give and receive love. You should find out how your partner likes to be loved what she prefers. What is her love language? Is it acts of service, gifts, or words of affirmation? When you speak love to her in her own language, you are more likely to get her to understand your feelings. This will help her to open up more to you and you’ll be able to understand your wife better.
Keep the romance alive in your marriage:
Just because you are married now does not mean that you should not keep trying to get closer and know your wife. Make sure that you both take some time away from the home and the kids each week and go out and relax just the two of you. Away from her other responsibilities at home, these moments will help you to bond and help you to understand your wife better.
Meet her needs:
As her husband and protector, you have certain responsibilities to your wife. This includes emotionally- learning to express affection to her in physical, non-sexual ways that are not limited to financial needs but also include emotional and physical needs.
Handle disagreements with love and understanding:
There will inevitably be disagreements or disputes over various issues, major and minor. How strong the marriage will determine how couples react to these disagreements. Whenever you have an issue with your wife, avoid lashing out in anger{Colossians 3:19, Ephesians 4:32}. Instead, find a quiet place to relax until your anger has blown over. Respect her opinions, and give room for meaningful discussion whenever you disagree.
Respect your wife:
In the biblical model of marriage, you and your wife are simply part of a whole{Genesis 2:24}. She represents you everywhere she goes. You should show her respect. This is very important. Failure to do so may result in unanswered prayers {1 Peter 3:7} You respect her the way you speak to her, especially in public. You should prefer her above everyone else and show her by your words and actions. Do not allow other relationships to make her feel threatened and unsure of her place in your life.
In conclusion, building your marriage on the foundation of Christ sets it up to last forever. God is love and his love for us is the perfect model for how husbands must love their wives.
