“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.” — Matthew 6:33
📖 What Does the Bible Say About Dating?
In recent years, countless books, programs, and church rules have been written to help modern evangelical Christians pursue “biblical” dating. From I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris to new relationship guides across denominations, there’s been no shortage of advice on how Christians should date.
But here’s the truth: the Bible says nothing directly about dating.
In biblical times, romantic relationships typically took the form of arranged marriages or betrothals — not the modern concept of dating. Still, while Scripture is silent on dating itself, it gives timeless principles that guide how Christians should approach romantic relationships:
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Maintain a healthy perspective centered on Christ.
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Uphold purity and holiness in all relationships.
💡 Maintaining a Healthy Perspective in Relationships
“Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” — Hebrews 13:4
For the Christian, God must always come first (Matthew 6:33; Luke 10:27).
It’s easy to become emotionally consumed by a new relationship — but when romantic feelings begin to distract us from our devotion to God, it’s a warning sign.
As Marshall Segal wrote in his article “The First Step in Dating Is Faith in Our Lord, Savior, and Greatest Treasure, King Jesus,” every Christian must first be anchored in their walk with Christ. Only then can they enter a relationship in a way that honors Him.
🔹 Choosing a Partner Who Honors God
A Christian should date only someone who shares genuine faith in Christ (2 Corinthians 6:14–15). Dating isn’t merely recreation — it’s a path that can lead to marriage.
Even when dating another believer, be discerning about their spiritual maturity:
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Are they growing in faith?
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Do they prioritize Christ above romance?
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Do they help you grow closer to God — or draw you away from Him?
🔹 Avoiding Desperation and Pressure
In many Western churches, there’s pressure to marry early or “settle down.” This can lead to rushed or unhealthy relationships — and even compromise, as some give in to sexual sin or unwise attachments.
Scripture encourages believers to pray for God’s guidance and not to make relationship decisions based on social pressure (1 Corinthians 7:35).
“An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord.” — 1 Corinthians 7:32
Singleness is not a lower status; it’s a gift and opportunity to serve God without distraction. Christians should use that season to pray, serve, and prepare their hearts — trusting God’s timing for love and marriage.
💎 The Necessity of Purity
“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.” — Romans 12:1
Though the Bible doesn’t outline a “Christian dating manual,” it clearly emphasizes sexual purity and self-control (1 Corinthians 6:13, 18).
Modern culture normalizes sexual immorality — from cohabitation before marriage to casual relationships — but believers are called to a higher standard.
🔹 Guard Your Body and Heart
The world says, “Follow your desires.” But the Word says:
“Run from anything that arouses youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace.” — 2 Timothy 2:22 (NLT)
Sexual intimacy is a sacred gift designed for marriage (Matthew 19:4–6; Hebrews 13:4). Christians must resist cultural trends that downplay purity or excuse sin.
Practical steps include:
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Accountability — Surround yourself with godly friends or mentors who help you walk in holiness.
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Boundaries — Avoid private or tempting settings that could lead to compromise.
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Prayer — Seek strength and wisdom when tempted (1 Corinthians 10:13).
Remember, your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19–20). Keeping it pure is an act of worship and obedience to God.
💞 Christian Courtship: A Different Way to Love
While the Bible doesn’t prescribe a method for dating, it does call believers to a distinct and holy approach to relationships.
Christian dating should never mirror the world’s model of self-centered pleasure or fleeting attraction. Instead, it should reflect God’s love, patience, and purpose — leading toward marriage and glorifying Him every step of the way.
A healthy Christian relationship:
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Keeps God at the center.
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Seeks to honor one another.
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Builds a foundation of spiritual compatibility and purity.
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Invites God’s will over personal desires.
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” — Psalm 37:4
🌺 Final Reflection
Dating can be a beautiful journey when it’s rooted in faith. But remember: romantic love must never replace your first love — Jesus Christ.
When you seek Him first, every relationship, every emotion, and every decision will find its rightful place.
Keep your heart pure, your motives holy, and your eyes fixed on the One who is Love itself.
“We love because He first loved us.” — 1 John 4:19
